Now, things have shifted.  I used to look inward for advice, for answers, I looked inward to find my path.  Now, I have accumulated so much information from experience, reading, and watching self-help videos, I feel that my path is already defined, I have all the tools once again in my head, I just have to recall them,  However, before my path was one based upon morality, values, right and wrong.  Clear defined lines.  Now everything is blurred.

I no longer have problems doing things society would scoff at.  My values are no longer to identify who I am, and discover what my path is to enlightenment.  My values have been wiped away and replaced with one word.  Evolution.

With that said, I am torn by the title quote.  I want to think, I want to plan, I want to dwell in thought.  But! it screams a fallacy at me.  I need to party, everyone is partying.  It is culture.  Drinking is culture.  Friends are made, connections are tied, etc.  In Japan, business men must party together before deals can be made.  I feel similar.  Partying is productive for social expansion…. BUT AHA! (an aha! moment as I type.)  The follow-up from partying is key… hang out days, etc.  (multi-place, relation building theory).

Anyway… I am torn, to party and live, or to focus to live tomorrow….(the answer needs to be both, I just do not know how to do each and still be productive…. EFFICIENCY… EBEN PAGAN WAKE UP PRODUCTIVE… I WILL LEARN TO CRAM THE USE OF MY TIME BETTER THAN EVER!!!!

Internet Blogs:

Mentor Figures I wish to be like. Such as eben pagan, benny luo, aaron panasbodi, and others I have met and enjoyed.

Seminars Webinars and Ted Talks:

Duh, everything from professors to workshops about psych and behavior.

2 Books a week:

Open: by Agassi

The seven mysteries of life by guy murchie

News Feeds:

Economist and Local Papers

I bought a 24 Gym membership and have been going religiously with my housemates.

Found good ol’ Eduardo to play tennis with and some other Tennis buddies to hone my skills better for this up-comming season.

Tennis skill wise, I can hit with a straight arm, role models are Nadal and Verdasco.  More leaning towards Verdasco, right now.   My sights are set on an open tournament by the fall.  Possibly Stead open if sooner.  We shall see.

Oh and I am reading Andre Agassi’s Open.

• 3rd Degree Mason
• Finish my Future Home Design
• Get at least 3 Scholarships and Grants
• Work on a publication(I need to define this better soon)
• Check out possible Graduate Degree Options
• Create an SFSU tennis team.  Play on it as number one.
• Network with the top people of the business orgs

My aims:  Become the top bay area player in one year… F that, I am going into overdrive, six months.

What this means is:

1. I going to accumulate hitting partners, that are better than me.

2. I need to drop weight, build endurance, build speed.

This means, I will work out.  Fast Weight Reps 8-12. Interval Sprinting.

3. I will study technique, starting with forehand, Straight arm.  Then backhand, two handed backhand. Then serve and all that other bull shit.

Imitate the best until you get consistent results.  Study history and identify trends.

The best: Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Agassi, Sampras

Trends:  Straight Arm Forehands.  Extreme Fitness.  Strength Training with a focus on speed.  Core and Leg Power.

Daily Routine will include 2 hours on court, 1 hour in the gym with closing sprints.

1.A job located in the city.

2.It’s a job with flexible hours.

3.It provides a network of young people my age.

4.It will get me laid.

5.It will benefit my future and build my resume.

So I applied to Abercrombie and Fitch.  Fuck resume building when you can be surrounded by 20 hot women at all times.  By definition, if you are a woman and you work there, your going to be in-shape, well-dressed, and probably a ditsy-whore with image issues.

Abercrombie is a paradox on steroids.  Let us start with demographics.  Abercrombie is notorious for being racist.  It’s true.  The store I worked at had tons of models, but unless you were this one incredibly sexy light-skinned, fiery green eyed, black lesbian girl, you were pretty much silently banned from working as a door greeter.  While the list of employees were diverse, the pictures on the walls were 95% Caucasian with blue eyes.  Now for the paradox.  Our customers were 95% Asians.  These Asian customers could typically be found  badgering any employee with the chinglish phrase” Do you have smarr sizu?  Or buying the $500 dollar gem studded tube top that looked like it was stolen off a 1980′s prostitute or Cindi Lauper. Now why do Asians buy clothes from a racist store for a premium price?  I have absolutely no fucking idea, but they love it as much as white people love cheese.  The other remaining 5% were international tourists who believe that Abercrombie and Fitch resembles the American look.  Like Americans would wear clothes that make them look like they are straight out of Leave It to Beaver.

So, lets start with the perks.

Perk 0. Clothes 30% off.  Gay.

Perk 1.  Hot girls work there, so what, obvious.  No, Hot girls have hot friends.  AND, hot girl’s hot friends have hot sexy parties.  Seriously, I felt like a genius for discovering this hidden natural relationship.  I never learned this until working at Abercrombie and Fitch.  Now in hind sight, I am retarded.

Perk 2. Working there, everyday, every girl that walks in to the store, automatically thinks I am attractive.  What an ego boost! I have no idea why.  I am not in shape or super attractive.  In the store, somehow I transform to god’s gift to women.  If you are a dude, who can never tell if a girl is checking you out, you will learn by working there.  And my favorite, international girls come in and ask to take pictures with you! (store policy says no pictures inside)  I ask for $10 dollars a person, they hand it over.  I hand the security guard a camera.

Perk 3. Most men who work there are gay.  Less competition for me.  Additionally, while gay people suck at life, they can be useful.  Here is an example:  Hot model girl is indifferent about you.  Gay guy thinks your hot because he is a man slut and likes all above average  men. Gay guy talks to hot model girl about you.  Hot model girl now looks at you with the idea of “sexiness” because of the conversation with the gay lusting over you.  Yes, girls are freaking insane, the world is crazy, but alas I win again.

ANTI-PERK: CON: UGH GAY:  You automatically smell like lavendar shit because they spray all their clothes with “Fierce” and faggoty-ass cologne only immigrants, gays, and gay immigrants use.

Perk 4. You can write you were a model on your resume.

I was a “model”.  Which at any other store would be called associate.   There are three simple positions that they spin you around as a model.  Cash Register, door greeter, and fitting rooms.   Admitably, I was the worst employee ever. I did each position terribly, but I was getting paid shit, so I used it as a reason to see how I could get fired.  At the cash register, I constantly changed prices of items $80.00 and up  to pennies for random customers(except the loathed older Asians women).  As the door greeter, I would leave the door.  I would find a customer and say “Hey, I will be your personal shopper for awhile because I think your cute”  I did this to hit on girls, but ultimately it was to create a perfect reason not to do my job.  Any manager who wanted to bitch at me I could throw the  line “CUSTOMER SERVICE” down their throats.  All employees, cannot leave the store, without being accompanied by a manager.  When I was a door greeter, I took strolls down market street and spoke with the peddler cart owners etc.  At fitting rooms I was the absolute worst.  Not only did I not do my job, I was caught doing handstands and hiding in the fitting rooms, and talking with impacts instead of attending to customers.  The handstands… those were just funny.  “Sorry maam, I know you would like to try that blouse on,but I could potentially fall on head if I do not concentrate.”

The security guard is legit as fuck!  I was going to quit after a month or two, because I felt like I had met everyone I wanted to, but this one man kept me coming back to work week after week.

Ok, his name is Montgomery.  He is a 6’1, 50 year old black man missing his two front teeth wearing army boots and black cargo pants like a member of a covert ops team.  The first time I meet him, he smiles at me with his gaping smile, reaches into his pocket and extends out his hand directly to me with whatever he grabbed hidden under his black leather glove.  OK this is sketchy.  I just started working here, everyone I have seen so far is drop dead gorgeous… now this dude shows up, standing up against a wall, doesn’t say a word, looking like he’s straight out of the tenderloin.  His odd smile kept me frozen in place. Much to my surprise, he drops a handful of buttersctotch candies and Hershey’s kisses into my hands.  The man who looks like the black panther leader is no more than the freaking candy man!  He then starts dancing to the terrible techno playing in the store by extending both arms out horizontally like an airplane, swaying his upper body left and right without moving his feet from his post.  He instantly became my best friend there.  Over the next few weeks we ended passing the time by telling each other stories and ultimately me receiving great life lessons from his adventures from his younger years.  Montgomery elaborated on the facets of cooking muskrat(being from Alabama) and how if I ever caught one, or a coon for that matter, I need to feed it cornbread for a few weeks before killing it, to prepare its internals for healthy good eating.  He also elaborated on how his experience in Mexico hooking up with a midget hooker.  This ultimately led him to suggest that once I did the same, I should also hook up with a very tall girl to balance out my life.  His best advice was around dating.  At my age, Montgomery said, I should be dating about thirty girls.  Each year here after, I need to lower than number by 1.  Eventually when I am 50ish, I will be down to two.  With just two prospects remaining I choose the best and marry her.  But, however, he advised, I need to keep the other one on the side.  Me merely playing the devils advocate asked, “so your telling me I should cheat on whoever I marry?”   He responded in all seriousness ” No, no, you gotta be faithful.  Just keep the other one on the side in case the one you marry gets hit by a bus.”  A true man.  He was promptly fired when the company found an agency that uses white security guards.  I promptly decided I was going to quit, but instead I changed my availability to Not Available, SUN-SAT, and remain on their “active” model list, to this day.

I recommend for any young person in a metropolitan area, to work at an Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister for a few months, not for money, but to simply meet people.  The work itself sucks, but you quickly get a social circle of some of the hottest young people around who do interesting things and lead active lives.  A circle that every person should develop because it will provide you with value to bring to your other social circles.

Duration: 6 Months

Notable achievements:

1 Funfetti Cake(see Virgin’s are Stupid)

5 boyfriends jealous and intimidated(see Art, Asians, and Audacity)

Gay man offers me 200$ an hour as an escort

2 Brazilian swooned.(see Brazilian Booty)

Success is being well, doing well, performing well.  Establishing yourself in abundance of what you desire.  But What is it that I desire?

I desire secured freedom.  I want to travel without worry, without fear, without sacrifice, without causing lack.  I desire to move as I please, see who I please, and not have to work to reach my goals. I desire to be in my vortex.  What is my vortex?

My vortex is where I am free to allow everyone I wish into my life.  A state of allowing which is soo strong, that everything is available to me.  All that is required for me to obtain it is to realize I want it, then allow it to come to me.  In my vortex, people come to me offering me the world, their world daily.  My vortex is magnetism.  Everyone wants to come to me, to help me.

How?  How will obtain these seemingly intangible goals.  Appreciation, I will list appreciation everyday, I will review my goals everyday.  I will go to where my vortex can thrive, I will go to places where people are around me.  I will see people as co-creators who want the same as me.

Any who, besides that, I am moving, to the great “Big Cheese” from the “Palms” mansion.  Basically I am trading a second living room in the house, for 2x size bedroom, awesome house mates, and a location walking distance to my school.    So I am really damn excited.

This summer I am taking 12 units and working for ASI as the business representative.  I am looking forward to everything ASI entails, the school not so much.  I plan to teach tennis as well this summer, hopefully to some awesome ranked juniors again.  Well see what shape I get into, to see how comfortable I feel teaching high skill levels.

Health wise, I picked up p90x again, skipped yoga, stretch x, Kenpo, and Cardio….. so thats LOL oops, BUT on all those days, I played at least 3 hours of tennis, so its working out pretty well.  I also have been controlling my boredom eating, limiting drinking to some degree, and I have been waking up at proper times and have been really productive because of that, and the added energy from eating well.

Brass Tax:

1. Wake up at 7:00 Mon – Thurs

why - Because I need to get back into the habit of utilizing my day.  Pacing my world by doing Yoga X every other day so I can increase my breathing to a proper level.  The yoga makes me feel like a feather, light and happy.  It also serves to let me prepare my mind for each day.  Yoga plus the detox a week ago was the spiritual habit I am trying to form to facilitate “Harmony” and remembrance of Perfection and I have no need to alter the self, I need to remember to just be and allow.

2. Tennis Forehand – Murray

why- I plan on picking back up tennis, teaching, and possibly running/coordinating an SFSU summer tennis camp.  At the very least, I just plan on being raw at tennis.  This goal gives me  a set objective, and forces me to play tennis frequently for the next two weeks.

I work in the morning.
Create/Learn in the afternoon.
Workout in the evening.
Party at night.